There are three questions that I never ask a woman and the reasons are simple. The questions though when asking them can be far more complex than anything and can cause more grief than we realize. There can be a lot of emotion attached to each of these questions and that’s why I do not ask.
When are you going to get pregnant? Seems like a simple question to ask, but have you ever stopped to think this can be a completely emotion loaded question? Firstly what if they do not want children? I can’t imagine having to say that however many times they are asked in a lifetime if they don’t and the things they must say in private after being asked and getting tired of being asked. That being said what if they are having trouble conceiving a baby? What do they say? They don’t want to air their issues with everyone who asks and go through a whole spiel about not being able to at this point. Also there’s the hurt they may be feeling at that moment.
Are you pregnant? If a woman wants you to know she’s pregnant she will tell you. So why shouldn’t you ask? the obvious risk that she just gained some extra weight and you just offended her. Maybe she would like to be pregnant but isn’t. Maybe she is pregnant, but isn’t ready to talk about it because of previous miscarriages or other traumatic loss. Maybe she is pregnant, but she still isn’t ready to talk about it. Maybe she just doesn’t want to talk about it with you Or maybe she’s not pregnant and she never wants to be pregnant.
When are you going to have another baby? What if they do not want another baby? What if they can’t have another baby? What if they have one and that was their plan all along? Asking this question even though it seems innocent enough could lead to many emotions that you had not thought of.
Any of these questions seem innocuous enough and seem like a great point of conversation with a mum, but myself I realized a long time ago that there may be other things going on that no one knows about. Asking these questions could bring up emotions in them and all they can do is smile and give you a basic answer and move on. It’s best to wait and eventually they will tell you about any of these questions that are so frequently asked or they may never. In the end if they want you to know they will tell you.