A new chapter starts tomorrow for me as Olivia starts school and she will no longer send most of the day with me. I honestly am feeling quite sad and overwhelmed as I have been with her since the day she was born. It’s more the realization that my baby girl is growing up and no longer is she the tiny little baby I held in my arms when she was born, or the toddler that sat at the table with me while I worked and she ate her breakfast and lunch and talked my ear off.
The memories I have of the two of us spending so much time together feel like ghosts in the room today and I am not sure how to deal with the feelings I am having. On one hand I am happy that she is starting and a whole new world will open up to her, but on that same note I will be missing her like crazy and I am not quite ready for my little girl to grow up quite yet and it makes me want to cry a bit.
I know that there is no stopping her growing and learning and becoming a young lady. I know that everyday she becomes a little more independent. I know everyday she wants to grow up just a little more. It is so hard to lay these last 5 and a half years to rest as wonderful memories and move on to the next chapter. I’ve raised her and been her constant everyday companion and she has been mine.
The time has come to let her walk the path of life and start seeing the bigger picture. To walk the path of life and start finding herself and her way slowly but surely. I have to let go just a little bit more and let her to find herself and be there for her when she needs me and listen to her when she talks. Although she is growing up and becoming her own person I will always be her dad and will always be looking out for her and when she needs to be free and run I will let her and when she needs someone to carry her because sh is tired and worn out she will never be to heavy for me to carry on my back.