Christmas is bittersweet

I do love Christmas! Anyone that knows me will know that! The Christmas lights twinkling, the sound of carols playing in the background and the smell of Christmas treats being baked. There is though a bit of a dark side for me at Christmas though! The memories of Christmas past. Although most times I will remember them with a warm heart and a warm smile I have come to realize that I will never have another Christmas like my memories again.

The smell of my moms kitchen as she did the Christmas baking and me sneaking in to steal what I could. The sound of my dad and his record collection of Christmas carols as he played all his favourite carols. The excitement that was brought when the smell of fruit cake being baked filled the air (I still don’t like fruit cake though, just the smell) because we knew Christmas was coming.


Although I know I am lucky to have three beautiful children to spread the joy of Christmas too and create beautiful memories of Christmas past with them I sometimes find myself when I am alone and a carol plays shedding a tear because I miss my Christmas so much! You know that feeling you get when people and traditions you had that just aren’t there anymore and no matter how hard you try to recreate them it’s never quite the same?

Lately I have found myself choking back a lot of tears missing my Christmas past. The memories are flooding back like never before and my longing to have them just one more time has never been stronger. All I can tell you is if you still have your parents hold them tight every moment you can and tell them you love them, because one day they will be gone and you will wish you could just one more time! So this Christmas make a point to spend quality and quantity time with them and make their Christmas even more special.

I miss my mom and dad this time of year especially! They are with me in memory and never forgotten the gift they gave me of Christmas and all the precious memories. They made my Christmas special the way it is meant to be, filled with love, kindness and generosity. They gave me everything they could even when things were tight. I love you mom and dad and everything you did for us. I want to wish you a Merry Christmas wherever you are!


Beautiful post and I know the feeling. Christmas was mine & my mums thing. Having my own child and not being able to share any of it with her makes it harder. And a Christmas carol can make me cry instantly! Hope it was still a nice day for you. Xx

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